Sunday, December 23, 2007

Hello ♥
i broke down for hours, knowing that
my dreams and hopes clashed upon each other.
i had noone to turn to but Fina was there,
lending her ears, listening to all my cries and woes.
i was terribly hurt knowing that you totally shove me off from your life,
now and maybe forever.

you wanted a time-out and yes, i'll respect that decision.

just so you know, im not ready to lose you.
i knew i said those things that i knew shouldnt been said.
when i said i want you to stay away from me, i did not mean it.
if only you knew, that my heart was really crying out for your name.
if only you feel, what i feel at this moment of time.
to know that you delete our pictures,
it really cut me deep, and only time will heal my pain.
i realised that you're not loving me anymore, like you used to.
im missing your late phone calls,
your laughs, your tender hugs and kisses and gripping onto your hands,

bullying you, chasing after you,
all those great wonderful times cause i treasured every second of it.

it was so easy for us to talk things out last time,
solving our little problems.
but now, i dont know where i went wrong.

im sorry if i had hurt you in any way dear.
only god knows, how i was worried for you and hoping not to lose you.,

when you ignored me for days.
deleting our pictures just now, was really hard for me,
especially our first picture we took.
i had to delete them cause i knew it would be best for you.
Ammar you make me fell for you,
when u first give me a peck on my right cheek.
the whole night, i kept remembering that moment.
it was the nicest kiss you ever given to me.
when u said 'i love you' for the first time through the phone,
you cannot imagine how happy i was.
i was punching my fists into the air, knowing that,
you're going to be my boyfriend, someone who
i want to share the rest of my life with.

when you held onto my hand for the first time,

my heart was jumping knowing that you're going to stay by my side,

through our ups and downs.

it was as though, yesterday, i was by your side in the cinema,

with you rubbing onto my hands to keep yourself warm.

it was as thought, yesterday, we had our one and only date together,

having fun without wasting any moment of it.

it was as though, yesterday, you thanked me everything and said i love you

through my ears, while i was cutting your birthday cake.

but i knew that was all gone forever.
when you ended our conversation with 'WHATEVER', i cried.
i did not expect those words coming out from you.

but i know, i have to toughen myself up and move on

and let the nature takes its way round.

as long as you know that, whatever decision u make,

i will always stand by you.

if you're happy, then im happy for you.

Thanks for everything love.