Ham Shika, 16 Along the way, ive met my hometown heroes. They've indeed secure a special place in my heart. Hellogoodbye & robots entertained me :D Where's true love? ♥

Affiliates ANOTHER BLOG ANNE AFIFAH AZLIZAH bea DINAH elfac fadlie FIFI HADY HASZIRAH IFAHBOB MARIAH ninie nurul aini REENA riduwan rizal sadrina SHAHIDA SHAHIRAH sukashi SHIMA stacey SYAMMY zee

Archives October 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 December 2008

Thursday, September 25, 2008 That day was special, there was you and me even its only for a moment ♥ Hello. Yes finally, I'm updating my blog. Sorry for my absence here, cause i've been busy. Alot of stuffs happen lately. But to sum it all up, I'm ok now [: Yesterday, break fast with Shida bby. We studied at Jurong Library and camwhored in the toilet :D HAHA. Of all places, the handicapped toilet. Then, I was off for tuition. Thanks bby, if you weren't there, I'm stuck alone :/ Heh. I'm not going school tomorrow. Lazy. Rather stay at home and study :D 27 more days to O's. And hell, I'm not prepared. Hari Raya's just next week, it'll prolly be my last time to have the taste of fun. Oh not forgetting, Shida's birthday. SNOW CITY! Then after that, no more outings. Mug and Mug :/ I'm looking forward for my weekends. I'll update soon again readers :D I told you to leave, but you lied to me, when you said that, baby no worries I promise to get us back. posted by 9:38 PM

Wednesday, September 10, 2008 Hello, School was doing fine, as usual. With Shida bby around, school's life can never be bored. After school, met up with Mummy and went home. Got changed and went out with Shida bby. We decided to head to town today and went to Fareast. We took about half and hour to find a perfect salon, and finally, we settled on this particular one and get her curls extensions done :D Awwh, after everything's done for one hour, I was happy with the final result. She looked prettaye :D We camwhored at the nearest toilet and started hunting for my flats. We surveyed around and two pair caught my eye. We then break fast at Cahaya. By 7.40, we were off to purchase my flats. It was only 20bucks :D We then bought our hippie bands and headed to Wisma. We stopped by Cotton-on, tried on a few clothes and bought them :D We then headed home. In the mrt, we laughed at our stupid funny faces, and at our lame jokes and storytelling here and there. Yeah, it was needed and fun :D You can tell, how much I love this chick. HHA. Reached home by 9.30, just in time for Jeritan Sepi. Then, get emosional a little seeing the show and decided to on the lappie. And then..., I was crying again. Only God knows why. I can now accept the fact that we can only be friends. You've opened up my eyes and you've shown me enough. All along, I should've known that words are only words, lies are only lies, and promises are meant to be broken. I've learnt alot from you. Thank you. I've no grudges at all towards you. If you never knew, you'll forever lose my trust. If you never knew, I've always loved you more than words. *abashed and dissappointed* Sebenarnya ku tak pernah ada rasa cinta Aku tak mengerti Seolah kau beri harapan yang pasti Membuaiku dengan penuh keindahan Tanpa disadari cinta itu hadir Dan aku tak sanggup menghindari Kau berikan aku kesejukan Yang tak pernah aku rasakan sebelumnya Tapi ternyata kau ada yang memiliki Sungguh kau buatku kecewa Aku terluka melihatmu dengannya Sungguh ku ingin kau menyadari Aku akan melupakan bayanganmu Berhenti untuk mengejarmu. posted by 11:14 PM

Hello, school-ed again today. Got back most of the Prelims papers. Oh, im not dissappointed just sad, cause I could have done better. I do believe in myself :D Careless stupid mistakes here and there. Stupid and lazy of me for not revising much for Humanities. And I guessed, practice will make perfect for my Maths, Amaths & Sciences. Plus, I need to brush up my situational writing skills. Hopefully, after all that's accomplished, I'm prepared for O-levels(?) HHA. It's just a month away. Fasting month for revisions and Hari Raya for sitting of papers. It sucks big time but I have to pull this through, no matter what. I can try. Just need to discipline myself and I'll be on the right track. I've done my own timetable and hopefully, I'll be able to follow :D I can't wait for Friday. Finally, a date with Shida bby. We're probably heading to town to do her hair and to find my shoes. And we breakfast together. YES AH! <3 I can't wait for Saturday. Prolly tutor Deanna and hangout with F2 :D Kau membuat, ku berantakan. Kau membuat, ku tak karuan. Kau membuat, ku tak berdaya. Kau menolak ku, acuhkan diri ku. Bagaimana, caranya untuk, Meruntuhkan, kerasnya hati mu. Ku sadari, ku tak sempurna, Ku tak seperti, yang kau inginkan. Kau hancurkan aku dengan sikap mu, Tak sadarkah kau telah menyakiti ku. Lelah hati ini meyakinkan mu, Cinta ini, membunuh ku. Lelah hati ini meyakinkan mu, Cinta ini, membunuh ku. posted by 12:08 AM

Monday, September 8, 2008 Hello. School was really needed today. Seriously. With not bringing my attire for PE, myself with my other girlfriends, sat outside the detention room and talked almost anything. Laughed at funny scenarios and also, advices being thrown here and there. And I must say, they have indeed knocked a little sense in my head. And Shida bby, you really touched my heart just now. With you ranting that you're feeling the pain I'm feeling and being equally pinched with what I'm facing now, it just simply shows a true bestfriend you are. You have always cared for me and always wanted to see me happy. And you never fail to hear to all my stories and everything I felt in my heart. You are the only one who understands me and willing to lend me your ears eventhough you have your own dilemma too. I wish I can be strong like you, holding back those tears and not giving in or be fooled. I wish I can be wise and not let anyone to duplicate me and take me for granted. I wish I have the heart to just take a step back and ignore, or worse, keep a distance away from anyone who tries to harm my heart. I wish I could just spit out the correct deep words to just make you realise that, my feelings are indeed true and treat me at least as a human being. I wish. But, I know, i'm nothing of that sort. I'm just too weak and I only have Shahida Bte Adnan to keep me stand upright and wanting me to not do the chasing anymore. For once, I should take the backseat in the car. For once, I should just ignore and keep me occupied with some other important stuffs. Make myself happy and stopped thinking about others' feelings. Prolly, I'm not even a thought in your mind anymore. Prolly, I'm being heckcared and contented with your life and freedom now. Cause, I'm nothing anymore, no status or whatsoever. Thus, losing me is not a big deal. And I know, no matter how hurtful it is, I cannot deny this fact. Cause actions speaks louder than words. I only hear words coming from the mouth but no actions taken. So here I am, looking like a fool and waiting for what? I'm left hanging again. I know those tears I shed won't bring anything back. Cause I cried enough, and it's just plain selfish to know that I'm already hurt, but still, wanting to see me crying again and being hurt profusely. I gave too many chances and forgave you alot of times. But why, I'm given all those high hopes and promises, but they are just too far away to reach and it takes thousands of miles to fulfill them. As much as I want you to hold on tight to those promises, I know I cannot hope too much. Sometimes, I feel that I'm being gripped so tight and really feel convinced, and the next minute, I'm being left behind again with lies and not the plain truth. I gave all my trust and it's all wasted again. I'm just waiting for the truth. Till when I'm going to be treated this way? I'm not sure cause things are way too complicated for me. Dont say I'm overreacting and making things more complicated. I know things were settled and I really thought there wound be no problems anymore. But the next minute, everything was back to square one. I don't want to be the third party. Tell me the truth, and I won't wait any longer and hoping that things will eventually work out in the future. Is not gonna happen if what's mine before is no longer mine now. I never had the strength. But now, I'm speaking up, you move on or, to put back the pieces between us, that you claimed to be missing? Choose. All the raindrops In the sky tonight Can't compare with all the pain And all the tears I've cried But now I'm done All the make believe Locked in this picture frame Is gonna stay behind Along with all the burning rage That's been tearing through my heart It killing me slowly Every beat, I was falling apart Sometimes you give Sometimes they take Sometimes you bend And sometimes they break you down Sometimes you stick around Trying to change them Make them someone that they'll never be And sometimes you leave All this time I've spent Staring at the door I never had the strength To pack my bags and leave before But now I'm done Lying to myself when it's clear That you're not that one Sometimes you give Sometimes they take Sometimes you bend And sometimes they break you down Sometimes you stick around Trying to change them Make them someone that they'll never be And sometimes you leave When there's nothing left For me to leave behind And you're already too far gone To say goodbye Sometimes you give Sometimes they take Sometimes you bend And sometimes they break you down Sometimes you stick around Trying to change them Make them someone that they'll never be And sometimes you leave Sometimes you leave posted by 10:01 PM

Hello. I never woke up for my pre-dawn meal(?) And nevermind, if I can handle it, that's good :D Haha. I havent got ready for school. Bath also havent. Yesterday, went shopping at Causeway Point ^^ The Thai Exhibit was cool, and I prolly stopped by it again. Break fast was at Macdonalds. Woo! And by 1o, headed home cause Aunty Nini and family wanted to come by. By midnight, I was already asleep. So thats explain why, I was already too tired and lazy to wake up for pre-dawn meal. Ok, bathroom's calling me! :D Earn my trust baby. Actions speak louder than words. posted by 6:11 AM

Sunday, September 7, 2008 Hello, Pardon for not blogging. Cause, busy and lappie's not with me. Tomorrow's already school & back to square one. Where I have to hit all the books again and prepare for my major papers. Prelims results will be out soon, and I can only hope for the best. On friday,my family went to Geylang to shop for Hari Raya stuffs. The guys finally settled on this particular grey colour baju kurungs after so much of walking here and there. Penat you. Fortunately, we managed to find seats during our break fast. If not, i swear my legs will be whining till I hit my sheets. And yeah, I bought myself a small rotan beg :D By 11, we finally headed home. Texted Shukur ♥ and by 2, I was off to sleep. Yesterday, headed down to Commonwealth and tutor again. Taught Deanna English and test on Mental Sums, and we finally finished up her art :D Initally, thought of breaking fast down there, but headed home instead to help mummy out in the kitchen :/ Next time will do. Today's tuition and I have yet to complete my homework and revisions. Prolly by next two weeks, I'll get my accessories, dress and shoes. And have my surprise done with :D I never wanted everything to end this way. When you can take a blue sky, turn it grey, I swore to you that I would do my best to change. Then you said it dont matter. I'm looking at you from another point of view, I dunno how the hell I fell in love with you. I never wish for anyone to feel the way I do. You then make me realised there's no forever. When my sky is always grey, I knew you were my only light. Then you said, there's many others in this world, who can shine my way through. But I'm pondering on our memories, I dunno where did I went wrong, cause loving you was never my mistake. And if there's another in your life, I dare to say it's your mistake and I can only bid goodbye. And then, only God knows how much I will miss you. And how I wish, I can be the kind of girl you have always crave for. posted by 6:31 AM

Wednesday, September 3, 2008 Hello, my day's ok today. So fast, and it's already Wednesday. Oh, im giving Jeritan Sepi a miss. Im too lazy to get my ass off the bed. The weather's cold again, and my bones are chilling. Break fast was nice. Mummy cooked spicy macaroni (: After that, went to pray and afterwhich, I received a text message from Johnnie! He asked to call him. We talked for minutes and we put down. And we continued texting. And both of us were horny. HAHA. He made me laugh. And now, we're chatting :D And yes Im missing Sentosa :/ So suddenly eh. Cause I was friendster-ing and I came across this couple who were at Sentosa and they look so cute plus sweet -.-" K whatever. Tomorrow, probably im tutoring again and I'll give her mental sums on Multiplication of 2 and 3. Haha (: 16 more days. posted by 10:12 PM

Ohh I wanna let you know That I'll always love you baby Sometimes I think about Everything that we've been through And I pray that you would just open your eyes I love you I need you So please don't throw our love away Since the day you and I snuck away to be alone I knew from that night something special went on It must have been the first kiss You told me that nobody else in the world made you feel this I felt the same way too but nothing stays the same I'm sorry for the tears I'm sorry for the pain You were the one that always made things right I promise you this though you got a friend for life Maybe one day we can try it again And maybe things can be a little different So lets just kiss and say goodbye Cuz I really cant stand the pain of seeing you cry I've given everything I loved you endlessly But when it comes to me You don't even notice me I've given everything I loved you endlessly But when it comes to me You don't even notice me All that's mine is yours that's what I said Treat you with love and respect in everyway You wanted I gave you need me I was there Now you treat like if I'm not here I love you and I need you don't wanna let go If you want somebody else please let me know Can't take it no more I feel I'm dying inside Is this the price I pay for handing you my life? I know I'm not perfect but I truly cared So when you wake up one morning and I'm not there Just remember I loved you it will never be the same Gave you everything and you threw it all away I've given everything I loved you endlessly But when it comes to me You don't even notice me I've given everything I loved you endlessly But when it comes to me You don't even notice me I gave you my good and my bad My heart and my soul, My trust my money my time, What more can you ask from a man Even when times are hard I held out my arms and held you Even excepted you through whatever weather But now I feel it we're at the end of the road Whatever we had now I gotta let go Nights like this I wish raindrops would fall To cover my tears Wishing I could replace all those wasted years Of loving someone who couldn't love me back And now again I gotta start from scratch But I know I've given you my everything I've given everything I loved you endlessly But when it comes to me You don't even notice me I've given everything I loved you endlessly But when it comes to me You don't even notice me posted by 8:46 PM

Tuesday, September 2, 2008 Hello, met up with Fina bby again this afternoon. And she accompanied me tutoring Deanna today :D The whether today start off rainy, and then sunny, and ended off with rain again. And now, the night's feeling cold. I like. My stomach's full and buncik now. I prefer its shape in the afternoon, it'll be squashed flat and I like. For sure, I'll lose some fats during this holy month :D I parted with Fina bby by 6 and Johnnie texted me otw home. He never fails to entertain me and plaster a smile on my face. Goodest lucks for your SS paper tomorrow. You can do it bacin! :D I've known him for eight months now, and yes, he's been a good friend in need and a funny chap :D I miss those bestie times. I wish I were to die infront of you and then hopefully, you'll realise. posted by 7:38 PM

Hello. I should have my beauty sleep again by now. But hell, I on the lappie after solat-ing :D And I wanted to stay up so that I could ring up Shukur ♥ to wish him goodlucks for his N-lvl paper today, MT. And when he picked up the phone, he was still sleeping. DOL! Anyway, give your best baby! :D And to all my other close friends, all the best too for the upcoming papers :D Im doing tutoring again today. I love teaching :D Celamat menjalani ibadah puasa to semua muslimin dan muslimah! ku kan slalu tetap menunggu walau sebagai simpananmu ku kan slalu tegar menanti walau engkau takkan kumiliki ku kan slalu tetap menunggu walau hanya kekasih gelapmu ku kan slalu tegar menanti hingga saat nafasku terhenti posted by 6:41 AM

Monday, September 1, 2008 Hello. Yesterday, my meeting with Shima was postponed to one of the days this week. And we'll break fast together for sure. I was tutoring Shukur's cousin Primary 2 maths. I'm tutoring her again this afternoon. I miss scoring full marks for that subject. Obviously, it's impossible for me now. I can only hope that i did well for Prelims. So far, I've gotten my English Paper 1 marks. The score was 39/60. I need to improve on my situational writing skills. This one week of holiday, I sure hope I'll revise on my Humanities and Chemistry. It's this both areas I want to improve and do well. Today's the start of the fasting month. I'm really geared up for it and for sure, I'll do my prayers more frequently. Heh. Back to yesterday, after tutoring, headed to Jurung Mrt and meet up with Shukur ♥ Upon arriving at Semb, we took a long route to Canberra Park. We talked things out yesterday and poured out our feelings all. I coudn't stop breaking down. I'm an emotional wreck person. But, I guessed the tears was all worth it cuase our conversation ended off well. And i know, for sure, after yesterday, I'll no longer have 1001 questions bubbling up in my mind and I'll move on from there. Deep down, I know we still do care and love for one another. It's what matters most to me. By 11, we parted with a tight tight hug and seconds of kiss (: NSBA♥ , after reading your latest post, it had me reflect back on whether I have been your true bestfriend for all this nine years and so. Have I ever been there for you when you needed someone to confide in? Have i ever been there for you to cheer you up and wipe away your tears? Have I understood your wants and needs? Have I ever been lending my listening ears and listen to all your problems? Have I ever been such an egoistic and selfish friend? Have I been your friend whom you can really lean on and talk to? Your post made me question myself, do you deserve someone better than me? I know I have my flaws and I know, it will cut me deep if I were to hurt you in anyway by my actions or words. I will bleed if I see you cry and I will definitely be worried if my bestfriend is hurting when I'm not the one feeling the pain. You're the last person in my mind that I do not wish to see you hurt and be hurt by me. I'm sorry for any of my wrongdoings and I'm sorry if I hadn't been there for you. For all you know, I'll be glad and willingly to overcome your problems with and get rid off the burden inside you. I have all my time for you cause I know you have never fail to be there for me. It's not the matter of repaying back all your deeds you've done for me, but it's our friendship that matters most and the love we share. I'll lose a part of me if I lose you. I know there's always a saying that friends do come and go. But if we put in efforts to make the friendship works, there's no ending to it and there will never be. Don't ever think that I'll come running to you only when I need you. With or without problems, you've always been whom I want to to talk to and share about anything. And I'll never get you off my head cause it's your laughter and jokes that bring smiles to my face and your advices have kept me strong. I'm no stranger to you but a bestfriend and always be. Tell me your problems and I'll listen. I love you with every ounce of my heart ♥ posted by 7:16 AM

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Relink(!): www.iwanttokissandtell.blogspot.com Shagged F2's Hari Rayayayayaya! Selamat Hari raya! The past always stays behind. True enough, another heartbreak. Cinta membunuhku, Now, I'm done. Trust is a big word. I wish.

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