Hello.
School was really needed today. Seriously. With not bringing my attire for PE, myself with my other girlfriends, sat outside the detention room and talked almost anything. Laughed at funny scenarios and also, advices being thrown here and there. And I must say, they have indeed knocked a little sense in my head. And Shida bby, you really touched my heart just now.
With you ranting that you're feeling the pain I'm feeling and being equally pinched with what I'm facing now, it just simply shows a true bestfriend you are. You have always cared for me and always wanted to see me happy. And you never fail to hear to all my stories and everything I felt in my heart. You are the only one who understands me and willing to lend me your ears eventhough you have your own dilemma too.
I wish I can be strong like you, holding back those tears and not giving in or be fooled. I wish I can be wise and not let anyone to duplicate me and take me for granted. I wish I have the heart to just take a step back and ignore, or worse, keep a distance away from anyone who tries to harm my heart. I wish I could just spit out the correct deep words to just make you realise that, my feelings are indeed true and treat me at least as a human being. I wish. But, I know, i'm nothing of that sort. I'm just too weak and I only have Shahida Bte Adnan to keep me stand upright and wanting me to not do the chasing anymore. For once, I should take the backseat in the car. For once, I should just ignore and keep me occupied with some other important stuffs. Make myself happy and stopped thinking about others' feelings. Prolly, I'm not even a thought in your mind anymore. Prolly, I'm being heckcared and contented with your life and freedom now. Cause, I'm nothing anymore, no status or whatsoever. Thus, losing me is not a big deal. And I know, no matter how hurtful it is, I cannot deny this fact. Cause actions speaks louder than words. I only hear words coming from the mouth but no actions taken. So here I am, looking like a fool and waiting for what? I'm left hanging again. I know those tears I shed won't bring anything back. Cause I cried enough, and it's just plain selfish to know that I'm already hurt, but still, wanting to see me crying again and being hurt profusely. I gave too many chances and forgave you alot of times. But why, I'm given all those high hopes and promises, but they are just too far away to reach and it takes thousands of miles to fulfill them. As much as I want you to hold on tight to those promises, I know I cannot hope too much. Sometimes, I feel that I'm being gripped so tight and really feel convinced, and the next minute, I'm being left behind again with lies and not the plain truth. I gave all my trust and it's all wasted again. I'm just waiting for the truth. Till when I'm going to be treated this way? I'm not sure cause things are way too complicated for me. Dont say I'm overreacting and making things more complicated. I know things were settled and I really thought there wound be no problems anymore. But the next minute, everything was back to square one. I don't want to be the third party.
School was really needed today. Seriously. With not bringing my attire for PE, myself with my other girlfriends, sat outside the detention room and talked almost anything. Laughed at funny scenarios and also, advices being thrown here and there. And I must say, they have indeed knocked a little sense in my head. And Shida bby, you really touched my heart just now.
With you ranting that you're feeling the pain I'm feeling and being equally pinched with what I'm facing now, it just simply shows a true bestfriend you are. You have always cared for me and always wanted to see me happy. And you never fail to hear to all my stories and everything I felt in my heart. You are the only one who understands me and willing to lend me your ears eventhough you have your own dilemma too.
I wish I can be strong like you, holding back those tears and not giving in or be fooled. I wish I can be wise and not let anyone to duplicate me and take me for granted. I wish I have the heart to just take a step back and ignore, or worse, keep a distance away from anyone who tries to harm my heart. I wish I could just spit out the correct deep words to just make you realise that, my feelings are indeed true and treat me at least as a human being. I wish. But, I know, i'm nothing of that sort. I'm just too weak and I only have Shahida Bte Adnan to keep me stand upright and wanting me to not do the chasing anymore. For once, I should take the backseat in the car. For once, I should just ignore and keep me occupied with some other important stuffs. Make myself happy and stopped thinking about others' feelings. Prolly, I'm not even a thought in your mind anymore. Prolly, I'm being heckcared and contented with your life and freedom now. Cause, I'm nothing anymore, no status or whatsoever. Thus, losing me is not a big deal. And I know, no matter how hurtful it is, I cannot deny this fact. Cause actions speaks louder than words. I only hear words coming from the mouth but no actions taken. So here I am, looking like a fool and waiting for what? I'm left hanging again. I know those tears I shed won't bring anything back. Cause I cried enough, and it's just plain selfish to know that I'm already hurt, but still, wanting to see me crying again and being hurt profusely. I gave too many chances and forgave you alot of times. But why, I'm given all those high hopes and promises, but they are just too far away to reach and it takes thousands of miles to fulfill them. As much as I want you to hold on tight to those promises, I know I cannot hope too much. Sometimes, I feel that I'm being gripped so tight and really feel convinced, and the next minute, I'm being left behind again with lies and not the plain truth. I gave all my trust and it's all wasted again. I'm just waiting for the truth. Till when I'm going to be treated this way? I'm not sure cause things are way too complicated for me. Dont say I'm overreacting and making things more complicated. I know things were settled and I really thought there wound be no problems anymore. But the next minute, everything was back to square one. I don't want to be the third party.
Tell me the truth, and I won't wait any longer and hoping that things will eventually work out in the future. Is not gonna happen if what's mine before is no longer mine now. I never had the strength. But now, I'm speaking up, you move on or, to put back the pieces between us, that you claimed to be missing? Choose.
All the raindrops
In the sky tonight
Can't compare with all the pain
And all the tears I've cried
But now I'm done
All the make believe
Locked in this picture frame
Is gonna stay behind
Along with all the burning rage
That's been tearing through my heart
It killing me slowly
Every beat, I was falling apart
Sometimes you give
Sometimes they take
Sometimes you bend
And sometimes they break you down
Sometimes you stick around
Trying to change them
Make them someone that they'll never be
And sometimes you leave
All this time I've spent
Staring at the door
I never had the strength
To pack my bags and leave before
But now I'm done
Lying to myself when it's clear
That you're not that one
Sometimes you give
Sometimes they take
Sometimes you bend
And sometimes they break you down
Sometimes you stick around
Trying to change them
Make them someone that they'll never be
And sometimes you leave
When there's nothing left
For me to leave behind
And you're already too far gone
To say goodbye
Sometimes you give
Sometimes they take
Sometimes you bend
And sometimes they break you down
Sometimes you stick around
Trying to change them
Make them someone that they'll never be
And sometimes you leave
Sometimes you leave
All the raindrops
In the sky tonight
Can't compare with all the pain
And all the tears I've cried
But now I'm done
All the make believe
Locked in this picture frame
Is gonna stay behind
Along with all the burning rage
That's been tearing through my heart
It killing me slowly
Every beat, I was falling apart
Sometimes you give
Sometimes they take
Sometimes you bend
And sometimes they break you down
Sometimes you stick around
Trying to change them
Make them someone that they'll never be
And sometimes you leave
All this time I've spent
Staring at the door
I never had the strength
To pack my bags and leave before
But now I'm done
Lying to myself when it's clear
That you're not that one
Sometimes you give
Sometimes they take
Sometimes you bend
And sometimes they break you down
Sometimes you stick around
Trying to change them
Make them someone that they'll never be
And sometimes you leave
When there's nothing left
For me to leave behind
And you're already too far gone
To say goodbye
Sometimes you give
Sometimes they take
Sometimes you bend
And sometimes they break you down
Sometimes you stick around
Trying to change them
Make them someone that they'll never be
And sometimes you leave
Sometimes you leave